River Spider Weavings

River Spider Weavings
River Spider Weavings

Monday, December 31, 2012

12 31 2012



At my writing table watching the furry moon. It moves behind my neighbor's house . Just a chip off the end. Smoky aura. Fog clouds illuminated? No more moon. "Lune ou pas lune, nous nous en fichons!"

Doesn't writing table sound better than computer desk...? Recent Utne Mag featues 2 articles--click your app and there is no app for happiness.

I want to finish my current read--"John Reed: The Romantic Revolutionary" before the end of the year. I am trudging through his life just like the 30 or so lives I slogged through since November 2011. 
 I am acquiring patience as I read each one. Simone, Sartre and company walked all over Europe. People walked. No big deal. Took trains and cars and buggies when any of those luxuries were available. Simone loved walking by herself. Walking for hours and days and weeks at a time. If they had to improvise on lodgings. This wasn't a problem, either.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Bliss (in progress)


Trance overwhelmed 
erase outside
open inside
sink down 
roots grounded 
spread down
mother holds
limitless ecstasy
float in
spirit descends slowly
oceanic flow encircles
vivid transmission 
the etheric bodies
intense conjoining
pured in Bliss
pull away
or come watch the show
ride on pony
legs quake
ankles gripped 
tightly from climb
Shiva and Shakti
embraces us with Bliss
surrender to climax
power overcomes
ether cradles
luminous faith

Saturday, August 18, 2012

wendy spends a summer with stalin

regeneration chaos



Wendy and Stalin playing








so i wonder how many suicides or lost minds the banks have led people to by ruining this country with greed and dirty souls?  but feed the masses that the real problem causing the most trouble are the immigrants  is there ever going to be time in this country's history that the poor aren't the problem but the rich  one exception would be those welfare baby mommies riding around in their gold-plated Mercedes  now that's where we should be spending money  rutting those cheaters out 

Cruel kindness gives gardens, trees, solitude, green, shade
Takes away -- no trespassing...not good enough as usual
Found quickly as unimportant -- so disposable
This time lost opening the gate  but I am entwined
poisoned with ivy in my eyes mouth ears nose brain vagina anus

so this is what you do
offer possibilities
out of the trap
and snap it shut it 
Karma Change
a new trap provided 
lili's golden spider dream

golden spiders descend
web and weave
spin and stalk
still
track and tear apart
hold focus in all 8 directions
intense situational awareness

everyday my work is to stay alive
protect my self from people and myself
who is scarier
they are they all turn out to be frightening
if it means voicing
then closing
             the crusty windows
             peeling doors
The tree limbs slanting across my window view budding leaflets' are painting the gray house with diagonal dots of chartreuse. What fun Ostara brings. Keeping it simple here in Millville.  
I'm not crzy I am just a little unwell.  I know you can't tell... not crzy i'm just a little impaired...Matchbox 21

This poem is for JohnJack who told me my poetry was alright for an amateur .  "And it wears me out." Thom York

Crumbling, crumbling piece by piece
Ages of wallpaper each decade peals away
Creates a timeline 
Palimpsest of paint
Traces back to the root color
Scrubbed down 
To smooth patina
Holds in place all behind crumbling
Cracks in ceilings 
Plaster  bare
the lathing, horse hair insulates
smudged plaster pushed 
exposed in all the slits
no more covered over
maps to make-up lands
didn't imagine away for so long






Sunday, April 1, 2012




Quote from Bertrand Russell's autobiography- "The books contain only sophistries and lies--opinions possible, perhaps, to men who live only in the study, and have no knowledge of life whatever, but quite untenable by anyone who faces this ghastly world of ignoble degradation, in which only virtue is punished and vice lives and dies happy and respected."



.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Driven DRAFT

DraftDraftDraftDraft
DRIVEN
His foot scuffs along the browning grass. Then the other.  Looking down at the path his feet make. Glancing up at the figures moving in the kitchen.-- one way and another.  And he moves with their rhythm one way and another, back and forth on the arbor swing. Leaves have dropped off, swept away. The grape vines enclose him with their dormancy.   Slowly gaining height and speed, he leans into it. Around him up and down one way and another he drifts through the trees encircling  and invited promising him to adventure .  He serpented out on a limb watching the comings and goings below, fantasies of hanging down and wrapping around his brother's neck. Pull him up here to play.  He can be a lizard. 

To go over the wall was ‘VERBOTEN.’ So much the better, why should mama need to know where he was all the time. Ridiculous idea. I don’t know where she is all the time.  They were always going down a deer path then to where their dogs' tracked trapped  animals. If the animal was alive they had to take turns killing it and then they would bury it.  Make a cross with a name for the supposed deceased, dig it into the mound which is much longer than the squirrel or weasel.  Sometimes they told visiting cousins that there were bodies buried in the woods, take them down there.  Seeing the graves, the little girls- breaking out of frozen shock-stumbled and fell to get away from this scary place faster than they could..  E and G laughed til they fell down.  They kicked each other for their ingenuity, hysterically tussling with laughter that just hung around.  What a great time.   

From a barely visible roof window, shape shifting, he watched the boy like a lizard or a serpent sliding forward to the edges. A wind picks up.Quickly bend the leaves and turning over anything on the lawn. The boy felt the wave of energy that birds use for flight.  Swaying and bending deeper and more quickly, he felt lighter and lighter as he fantasied about the buoyancy of floating away in a spiral cloud.  During his reverie, all became noise and wind  and speed of a huge machines enveloping him. He reached out his arms in a split second to catch his small fingers on it and be dragged along skyward.

Finiding himself by the gravel drive, he wasn’t sure where to go: to the kitchen, his room, not being sure he stood swayings.  He sees mama coming out of the        kitchen door. .  Hands on hips, apron smeared by her just wiping her hands.  Too much smoke, then firecrackers everywhere between them.  The explosions. Too much smoke to see mama.  Guns. They all have guns with spears. Shoved at him with a helmet slammed on his head.  Out of the smoke he walks forward seeing as he mother comes running to save him. Her hands now begging and beseeching not to shot.  She is right in line of fire.  She shakes her head no.


All he knew was that Mama carried him into the kitchen..  G usually loved knowing there was a posse after him, like a real bandit or better, a pirate.  A lost and found game from morning to night delighted G to no end.  Usually, he could be sitting right with them but he was insistently thinking of what pranks he could pull on whom.  This was not the usual excitement craved.  He must have been dreaming longer than he realized. Turning deeply into his mother's arms, he heaved big quakes of tears and fear.  She pressed her love to him, stroking his hair.  Its ok mama's here. He wants to say. Just no way. Slumps and slips to the floor.   .



DRAFT DRAFT DRAFTDRAFTDRAFTDRAFT

Friday, March 23, 2012


Possibly  Once Grace the Puce Sofa

There was a time
Just when was it
And why was it a time
Well you know
This change it


Was before that




That’s when it was
The moment before this
Which that will
Become in the next

When was that time
When whens kept
Changing to new whens

Whirling spiraling
No central control

Whens traveling
Along an unseen path

So many whens
That are precise and absolute

Divergences
Emergences
Emergency whens

Those woven moments
Grace dissolves them
Grace takes
Like rulers on back of hands
Or hairbrushes
Throwing flying

Across moments

Then it all becomes
Moments of frightening Grace

do unto other whens
and other whens will do unto you

Moments filled with whens
These and those whens

In a karma coated mirror
Showing then now when

figure out Right acting
With out
Knowing how

Praise the Path
Grace is the Path

It is the only
Sense I can
Make of whens was

That time when whens kept
The Grace of the possibly once puce sofa

Pleasing so many whens
Ago we follow

The Grace-filled couch’s
Path

Carolyne Chandler-Trouusdell Krull wants to thank all the poets she so derivatively played with in the above.  Let's do it anytime .  I slide down your rainspout and climb up your apple tree anytime.

Chien de la Lune